Who am i ? - Darius 2 Yoga

I am not the mind, the intellect, the ego or the memory,
I am not the ears, the skin, the nose or the eyes,
I am not space, not earth, not fire, water or wind,
I am the form of consciousness and bliss,
I am the eternal Shiva…

Shiva- that which is not.

Isn’t it funny, how we travel in search for oneself?

How you try different experiences to see how it affects you?

How you respond to them? Just To feel more connected to yourself…

Like you are carrying this device, mechanism, human body of which you have no idea what it truly is, or what it holds, why is it necessary? And what is it carrying?

What can it do?

You feel deep down that you have no idea who you are, where you come from, what is your purpose? How is it, you exist here?

How strange is that?

You keep yourself busy because giving attention to such a thought really kills you, frightens your understanding, of how small you are, and how little you know…

And this is the person with whom you spent your whole life and yet, you know nothing about…

Yes… favorite colors and taste, feelings … this are just details … you cannot be defined by that … it is like, every passing day, you grow and transform, in something else … something different … and what you where … just a short time ago becomes what you used to be.

If it where for somebody to tell me I am who I used to be 1 year ago, I would totally denied it , to be identified with that person, because you feel you have grown so much that the image of you in the past is a children version of yourself, with little understanding.

So this “you“, it is a surprising concept. The more you grow, the more complete you fell and still, the more the abyss is growing inside you. Understanding that you don t actually know nothing because there is a lot more that you haven’t considered before.

Who is this person I call myself?!

You travel to India or different places around the world to be in contact with spiritual people, people who have come to a universal understanding of life and they may help you to better understand yourself.

You feel like you are in more contact with your soul, the source from which you have come.

You feel like you have touched nirvana, but still after a few days, that state become normal and you know there is more, that what you thought it was truth, is just an incomplete version of what really is there. Is like a finite thing is trying to touch the infinite.

You know that who you are today is just a limited version of who you really are and how can you be satisfied with this?

“I love what I am but I am more…”

It is like a Pandora box, just awaits to be open. You feel it inside, it is not the exterior world that frightens you or feels that hasn’t been discovered yet, is a world inside that awaits your attention.

You feel you are in the presence of something, even when you are alone. Pay attention to that source, which can make you feel connected or disconnected, but to what? what is that? and how deep can it go?

I am dying to know myself

The more I love myself the more I love everything about this world. It is the experiences that allows me to unleash more about myself, to create the proper circumstance for that which is hiding, to revel itself.

Closing my eyes I was totally fascinated about the idea of this verb…this sentence…

I am….i am….ii……am…and I can just complete the sentence with whatever, and that will define what this person will become, for a second, for a thought, for life

I cannot be an elephant, it seems to be impossible to transform myself in one.

Is it enough just to fell like one? how would I act? And may i have a human awareness? is it necessary for me to forget who I am to become that? It seems the only way.

And once you are not human and you become infinite, part of an energy that has no time, how short is a human experience? Is it as short as a thought? So when I think of an elephant in this posture as a human… is it the same for the universe when it thinks at a human experience? What it may seem for me 1 mil years for him is a micro-second?

Wasn’t it the same kind of experience happening right now? The same exchange? The same question?

I am the source but I forgot that in order for me to identify myself with a human being. Is this why I feel is not enough? I know deep down I am something else…

It’s your decision to become what you want, the more you invest in it, the more you will be identified with that. But isn’t it all an illusion then and we spend time stressing for nothing, when we should just enjoy everything?

It is like the light hitting a triangular prism dispersing light. In that dispersion you have a tiny, infinitely small percentage of what light really is, but still a rich spectrum of colors. I am that rainbow and I chose which color I am, but still it is a limited nr of colors.

The source of the light is “I” when it touches the prism, “I” becomes the action the verb ”am” what follows is up to me…

One day I will go back… and feel that deep connection and become and be infinite again. That is the calling of my soul, that light, and i would never feel complete until the process is reversed.

I am dying to know more, to feel more, and feel closer to myself and connected to this source that is allowing me to exist in this way. I want to be able to close my eyes and feel everything, become nothing so I can experience everything.